I'm Damn Proud To Be A Cat Lady

I've been called many names in my lifetime. Labels and teasing seem to be a regular part of the human experience for many of us and it's because of this that many of us seek consolation & acceptance in our animal friends. Respect and trust are earned first, then understanding follows. They do not judge, there are no slurs said or insults thrown - it's simply the purest form of existence: love.  It has taken me my whole lifetime thus far to not just accept but embrace and exude who I truly am: a cat lady (and damn proud of it)!

as I'm writing this - this is what my bed looks like

The fact is I'm 30, I'm single and I have (insert dramatic crescendo here) 6 cats. Besides the fact that there are far far worse things I could be, being a cat lady brings me happiness and joy. It is my bliss and I'm following it, basking in it, open-hearted, full steam ahead. This doesn't mean that I haven't met a certain amount of judgement, resistance and negativity from people (and even myself) but it does mean that none of that bothers me anymore. One of my heroes, Rupaul, wisely says "what other people think of me is none of my business" and as far as me buying that "spinster will die alone & cats will eat me" nonsense - that's just not in my budget. At the end of the day I'm not living my life to please anyone but myself and my Spirit.


If you talk to me for more than 5 minutes, chances are you will know something about my cats and my love for the feline species. Am I running up to random people and asking if they've accepted cats & kittens as their bliss and joy? No, of course not. Everyone has their own path in life, mine just happens to be filled with whiskers, cat fur and the occasional hair-ball. On a daily basis I'm around people who are not "cat people" and when they realize that I am, I tend to get one of several responses.

The most common response - people expect me to be crazy (like the cat lady from The Simpsons crazy). While I do possess a certain level of oddity and uniqueness, my home does not smell like cat pee, you will not find a "flat cat" under the sofa, I am articulate, bathed and do not throw random cats at people. I have human friends whom I hang out with on a regular basis. I do wildly "normal" things like go to the movies, shop at Trader Joe's and go on vacation.

The Simpsons - always good for a giggle ;)

The second most common response I get is: "me too!" though sometimes it's a "cat man." One thing I've noticed about us cat people is that we, like cats, can be quite guarded initially. However, once that guard is lowered, you will find that the majority of cat people are personable, trustworthy, kind and fun! Kind of like cats. ;)

Another response I get is 100% pure negativity. People will immediately start verbally disparaging cats in any and all ways, shapes & forms they can think of. On rare occasion, this is because of a horrible first hand experience with a cat, but most of the time it's simply because the person is not familiar will cats and has formed his/her opinion based on the crazy cat lady stereotype. Now, anyone with intelligence knows basing one's perspective of any group on a stereotype is ignorant, and as fellow cat person Mark Twain, once said "never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference." So how do I respond to this sort of response? I don't. Most of the time I'll literally say "I'm walking away" and then leave. Someone who spews such negativity doesn't deserve my time or energy, nor do they merit an argument because I would only be engaging in the negativity myself. Besides, I'm not trying to "convert" anyone anyway.

With that said, if someone is maliciously cruel and physically abusive to ANY animal, you bet your ass I will say something - and do something. There are few things in this life that make me angry (I'm far from being short-tempered) but if you harm an innocent animal, may your God have mercy on you because chances are I will not. You know how mothers are fiercely protective of their young? That's me, except my children are animals. I'm going to interject a disclaimer here: I do NOT nor have I ever actively sought out animal abusers or the like. I'm simply saying that if one crosses my path, enters my life or I see it happening right in front of me - you better run and fast. I'm built like an Amazon, trained in the German broadsword, boxed for a number of years and will put my life on the line to save any animal's.

Alrighty now, let me get back to the topic here. There are, of course, other response that I get, but those are the most common. I am human and there are some times when the negativity will bother me, and that's when I ask myself why is it bothering me today? Why now? Sometimes it can be just because I'm having a tough day and feel vulnerable, sometimes it's because someone who I considered a friend said it, and sometimes it's because I'm just taking it personal when it's really not.

Throughout life, I've found that when someone insults or is negative to me, it quite often has little or nothing to do with me. It really has everything to do with them - I just happen to be the projection screen that day. So how do I deal with that? Well once I get past my fragile, ego-centric reaction and realize that it has nothing to do with me, I energetically blast them with love and kindness! I send them good juju because apparently, they need it! And of course when I go home, I hug my cats and soak-up their unconditional fuzzy love.

Now the stereotypes are there for a reason - albeit not a very fair one, but there are cat people who do embody that unfortunate persona. There are some films/shows that delve into this topic - the documentary "Cat Ladies" and subsequent TV show by the same name, and "Hoarders," explores the psychology and sometimes, psychosis, behind being a "crazy cat lady." Humans are fragile and without care, we break. After this break we have to ability to repair and rebuild, but we also have the ability to remain broken. I've seen this first hand with my Dad. He broke after my parents' divorce - to him, losing his family meant losing his world. He was a cat person too and while he didn't hoard excessive numbers of cats, just stuff, he did have cats that he wasn't able to properly care for - because he wasn't able to care for himself. I love my Dad, do not misunderstand that, and by the time he passed away we had a close relationship filled with love & support but it took him many years to realize that he needed help.

happier days, my Dad and his favorite cat Duke

 While he relied on me and his friend for said help, the months before his sudden death he prolifically shared with me his regrets and his pride in the woman I'd grown to become. He had seen me break in my own life & struggle through it. It wasn't until that struggle, did I (thanks to my Mom's suggestion) begin volunteering at the local animal shelter and discovered that's where my heart felt whole again.  My parents are both responsible for me finding my path in life. My Dad was always supportive of my eccentricities, introverted ways and affinity for felines and my Mom continues to be the wind at my back and shoulder to lean on whenever I need encouragement & solace. I honor where I come from by following my heart - so really, when you think about it, I honor my parents by helping cats.

Dad & me circa 1987

Mom & me circa 1993

I guess what I'm trying to say here is simply to be yourself. No matter what, don't let anyone or anything ever diminish your beauty - inside or out. Raise your flag and fly it! Be a dreamer, be a freak, be normal, be a dog person, be a cat person, be whoever you are when your heart is open and happy. Be you! And do not worry if you're not sure what that is yet! That is what life is for - figuring out what makes you happy and fulfills your soul. So don't be afraid to explore this world and anything that interests you - just get out there and do it. This is not always easy for me to do - I'm a natural introvert and homebody - but I can tell you with 100% positivity that every time I've done something new, and usually by myself, I've had a great time. I've learned so much about myself and realized just how important cats are to me and that I'm damn proud to be a cat lady.

yes, that is Yoda on my head - inspired by the great Colonel Meow
(who, if you don't know, is awesome - look him up on Facebook)

Own your flaws, they can be your best attributes.
Follow your heart, you will never be lost.
Embrace what makes you happy, for it is there you will find yourself.

and above all, "Be Excellent to Each Other!" -Bill S. Preston Esq. & Ted Theodore Logan "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure"

yours truly,

The Cat Advocate, Christina